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Friday, 6 October 2017


My recent birthday reminded me of the power of relationships. It reminded me that there are beautiful people in the world.  It reminded me that there is indeed love in the world. It reminded me of my values and my essence. I want to share a few books that have shaped me through the last few years and deepened my relationships with people.

25 WAYS TO WIN with people by John Maxwell

Because I have a desire to win with people, I have invested in books which help me along the way.
And here are my favourite quotes from this book

‘’Leaders can become great only when they realize that they are the ones who need people’’.

‘’No matter how successful you are, no matter how important or accomplished, you need people’’.

He also said this
·      People need to be needed
·      People need to know they need people
·      People need to know they are needed
·      People need to know they helped


And that is the blueprint of how we run Raising Confident Girls Initiative, an NGO that I am proudly part of. We cant do it on our own. It takes a village. And that village is our valuable members, our patron, our stakeholders and the wider community.

Everyone needs to feel needed. And its so rewarding and beautiful to see the fruits of everyone feeling part of something. No man is an Island.  

BE A PEOPLE PERSON by John Maxwell

I love John Maxwell books and one of the things he points out in this book is the golden rule. Treat people the way you wanted to be treated but he went a step further and said if you want people to act right towards you, you have to act right towards them. We should be determined not to be a reactor to bad behaviour rather an initiator of good behaviour.

I spotted something profound in this book that stops me from fretting when I witness challenging behaviour.

 He also said ‘’ When you realise that people treat you according to how they see themselves rather than how you really are, you are less likely to be affected by their behaviour''.

My husband always says never let a person's behaviour affect you negatively, rather let your behaviour affect others positively. Munachi Okoye

A few things to note if we want to be a people person by John Maxwell 

The least important word
I (gets the least amount done)

The most important word
We (gets the most amount done) – relationships

The two most important words
Thank you – appreciation

The three most important words
All is forgiven – forgiveness

The four most important words
What is your opinion? – listening

The five most important words
You did a good job – encouragement

The six most important words
I want to know you better – understanding

Another book that has helped with my personal growth is called The True Measure of A Woman. Often we measure our worth according to what’s around us. Our self-esteem rises and falls just because of popular opinion. The author states that this can often result in depression and other mental and physical problems. 

When we discover the truth of who we are in Christ, then we can stop comparing our journeys to others and begin to see ourselves as God sees us and then we have more powerful, healthy and long lasting relationships.

You are not who they see – No matter how good looking you are, you will never feel good enough until you realise that man looks at your outward appearance but God looks at our hearts. So we need to work on our hearts.

You are not what you weigh either – Some women measure their worthiness by how much they weigh. Its good to be healthy and of a good weight but don’t be obsessed with it.

The true measure of a woman is her fear of God. And we can learn a lot from the Proverbs 31 woman or take part like I did in a 31 days PROVERBS CHALLENGE   

Nothing though beats a daily dose of scripture and my favourite verse for the week is from Psalm 27 '' The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear''. The Lord is the strength of my life: of whom shall I be afraid of. 

I do hope these have been useful nuggets in building powerful relationships with others and yourself.

Here's my previous blog post

Please leave a comment and let me know if anything stood out for you. Thanks for stopping by until next time. Feel free to share.

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