RIRI OKOYE: WHY HIGH SELF ESTEEM MORE IMPORTANT THAN CONFIDENCE

I believe that self-esteem is more important than seeking confidence because once you have high self-esteem you will naturally gain confidence.

WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM?

In conversation with friends, they believe that confidence and self-esteem are the same. But they are not. Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself and your worth. In other words, your perception of your value as a person.

Confidence is the belief in your abilities. Do you know that some people have high confidence and low self-esteem? Some have low confidence and low self esteem but our aim is to have high confidence and high self-esteem in all areas of our life. Its a journey.

Here are a few more things about high self-esteem that I have discovered

When you have high self-esteem, you won’t have toxic relationships. You just won’t tolerate them. You will only surround yourself with goodness.

When you have high self-esteem, you won’t stay in places or groups where you are not valued, rather you will seek healthier environments.

When you have a high self-esteem, you won’t believe that other people are better than you or vice versa.

TRUE CONFIDENCE

It doesnt come from wealth, education, achievements, looks, accolades, designers or anything external. That is why unfortunately some people who have signs of outward confidence are struggling with low self-esteem, even celebrities. True confidence comes from high self-esteem.

Here is a checklist of a person who possesses low self esteem

• You don’t believe in yourself

• You see yourself failing before you begin.

• You have a hard time forgiving your mistakes.

• You believe you can never be as good as you should be or as others.

• You are afraid to show your creativity because you will be ridiculed.

• You are dissatisfied with their life.

• You complain and criticize.

• You worry about everything and do nothing.

• You have envy issues

• You have ‘’complex issues’’. Either superiority complex or inferiority complex.

• You find it difficult to be yourself and you’re always putting on a front.

Here is checklist of someone who possesses High self esteem

• You don’t seek approval or validation

• You don’t obsessively worry about how others will judge you.

• Your life is enriched with each new encounters.

• You are nicer to be around.

• Your ideas are met with interest because others want to hear what you have to say.

• You make a good leader!

• You appreciate life and are willing to try new things -you are magnets to positive opportunities!

• You have less mental health problems

• You have less issues with other people because you are content with who they are

GET RID OF LOW SELF ESTEEM

Low self-esteem can result in feeling out of control and feeling like a victim ignored, excluded, unimportant, insignificant and unloved.

Low self-esteem can lead to internalising the criticism of others (taking it to heart) while searching constantly for validation. This can lead to chronic people pleasing and it will give others too much power to determine how we feel. Ive been in this season in my life before and it was horrible. This in turn can lead to being a doormat for other people's benefit.