EMPATHY ON MY MIND

If I had a magic wand, my wish would be for more people in my dear beloved country Nigeria to have better skills in empathy.  

A client who owns a cancer clinic in Victoria Island, recently reached out to me. She said, ‘’ Some of our patients have life threatening diseases but the doctors here don’t seem to care and are very abrupt. Can you do a talk on Empathy?’’. I jumped at it because empathy is something I consider very important.

What Is Empathy?

Simply put, it means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s also a skill of reflecting back to the emotions that the other person is showing so that they feel heard and understood.

Some Terms & Differences 

Sympathy ‘’ I am sorry that happened to you’’.

Empathy ‘’I see your pain and I understand’’

Compassion ‘’ How do you need my help?’’

Apathy ‘’I don’t care how you feel’’

Phrases that you can share to show that you have empathy include the following

I can understand you

I understand how you feel

I can imagine how hard it is for you

I can understand how angry you are

Reflecting On Empathy

Am I compassionate enough to care about another person feelings?

Can I put myself in another person shoes so that I don’t judge or criticize them?

Examples Of Reflective Listening

Employee: I don’t really want to work anymore. I want to be home with my children

Employer: So what I am hearing you say is you prefer staying at home with your children rather than working right now.

Summing Up My Thoughts

I have come to realize that cultural differences make it harder for some people to feel empathy. In a tough environment like Lagos, its often challenging for some people to think about anyone but themselves.

There’s also the issue of status. A manager may not consider the problem of an employee to be important because she doesn’t consider the person to be her equal. Some people also struggle and are uncomfortable with another person’s emotions. I remember once when I was working in an office and was so upset about something which left me in tears. Instead of the boss to show any empathy. She just left the office.

Even if it’s a weakness, I believe empathy can be improved by being conscious of how a lack of it makes another person feel. Let’s remember what the Late Maya Angelou said, ‘’ I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel. ‘’

So what are your thoughts on empathy? 

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Thanks for passing by

Stay Blessed