I wrote this blog post two years ago, on my Valuable YOU Blog for Girls and I
decided to republish it today on my personal blog because it’s Friends Day on Facebook.
Let me just say that I am not a perfect friend. We are all work in progress, so
as I am writing this post I am speaking to myself too.
On my journey of life, I have observed that a lot of people (especially women) are in pain because of
friendship breakdowns, unmet expectations, disappointments and hurts. On social media, there is always one post or another about what a friend did and or
did not do. One almost wonders if we put too much pressure on friendships. I
realised that the only person you can fix is yourself. So here are my tips on
being a better friend and ones I will aim to practice too.
Accept
The minute you start to try to change someone’s core character, you will
find the beginning of problems in that friendship. The friendships that last
the longest are those that are accepting of each other. We have to accept
each other's strengths and weaknesses. Obviously if someone is doing something
intentionally to hurt you, you must address it, but if it’s a character flaw,
you just have to accept it or move on.
Acknowledge
When I discussed this recently with a relative she was shocked but then
came round to understanding. John Maxwell says. ''There is a human need to be needed. Everyone needs
to feel they are needed.'' And I agree. To deliberately ignore a friend is to send a message
to the person that you don’t value them. It is quite spiteful to do that to
someone you consider a friend. And sooner or later the friend will drop you so
fast. It doesn’t matter who calls who first, but do make an attempt to
acknowledge someone you call a friend because friendships need to be watered.
There are times when friendships just fade away because of change in
circumstances or change in season but true friendships always find their way
back. That’s been my experience.
Appreciate
Everyone loves to be appreciated. When we appreciate others, we show
them that we value them and that their friendship means a lot to us. How can we
appreciate others? We can just tell them that we appreciate them. We can do
something for them that we know they will love. Nobody likes to be taken for
granted, so if there’s one good friend that you haven’t appreciated recently,
why don’t you start by telling them you appreciate them.
Assure
Another way to be a better friend is to assure a friend. We do this by
keeping to our word and promise. We don’t disappoint. We keep open
communication if we cant do the things that were expected of us. When we do this, they can trust
us in all seasons of life that we will be there for them.
Affirm
To affirm means to state or confirm. If you truly love a friend you wont
play mind games, so if you see that they are doing well, why not affirm them by
saying, ‘ I think you did a great job’. You don’t do so because you are forced
to, but just because you love them.
If you truly love a friend you should be
able to give them constructive feedback. Warning! It depends on the intensity
of the friendship because some people just can’t handle feedback.
The busyness of life can make us self-focused but with a little effort
we can be a better friend.
These are my tips. Please free to add anymore in the comment box and
thanks for passing by. If you liked this post please share. Thanks in advance.
Happy Friends Day
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