I’M SEARCHING FOR REAL LOVE

As I was walking in the early hours of the morning, I was thinking about real love. Those of you who grew up in the 90’s may remember the track by Mary J Blige titled ‘’Real love’’. But I am not thinking about romantic love.  I am talking about agape love. It is not based on feelings but on a resolve to put the welfare of others beyond our own.

It is not a love that comes naturally to us because of our fallen nature but one that is ever present when the spirit of God is in us. With real love, we can forgive the worst treatment.

During the Christmas season, it appears that we are in tune with real love BUT real love is not a programme, it’s not a one day event. It’s a lifestyle. We should aim to demonstrate Real Love every day.

What Real Love is not

The presence of pride, egoism, deceit, jealously and superior complex is not real love. It’s not God’s love. It’s not ‘the love of the Bible or the early Christians.  All selfish ambitions cannot be present when it comes to real love.  As we step in 2017 those characteristics that have become habits need to be dusted off and left in 2016, so they we can walk in real love.

What Real Love is

Real love is patient and kind. Real love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Real love does not demand its way or the high way. Real love is not irritable and doesn’t keep records of hurts. Real Love does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth is told. Real love never gives up. It never loses faith and is hopeful. Real love stands strong through every circumstance.

Can we really demonstrate Real Love?

I often ponder on this but God wants us to display Real Love as cited in his Word. He commands us to love just like the Samaritan did.  

Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples. John 13:35

Whoever keeps my commands, is the one who loves me. John 14:21

and whatever you do, do it with kindness and love. 1 Corinthians 16:14

But if a person, isnt loving and kind, it shows that he doesnt know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:8 

I pray this blog post ministers to you as it ministered to me when I was writing it. May we continue to seek and display Real love. 

What are your views on Real Love? Please leave a comment so we can all grow in wisdom and knowledge. 

Thanks for stopping by. Please feel free to share with others.

12 BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES OF MY DAD

The memory of my dad’s birthday came and went on the 28th of August and I just couldn’t even acknowledge it to myself, not to talk of the rest of the world. It was just too painful for me as he slipped away suddenly in February. That was 10 months ago and as time heals wounds I am able to share a few precious personal shots. As I think about life without him during this Christmas season, I am determined to remember all the good times.

Here are 12 beautiful memories of my dad - 

This was dad on his 70th birthday about two years ago. He had an intimate dinner party with family and photoshoot. We are indeed a village. 

Roll back the years and this was one of his first photos when he arrived in the UK in the 60's. 

Dad was stylish and too cool for his own good.

Dad was always the one behind the camera and he loved his gadgets. Nice to see him in action.

He was a stylish dude in the 70's and loved his music

Dad returned back to Nigeria in the late 70's and loved his Peugeot 504

Dad in the early 80's in Owerri. We had fond memories of good times for a short time before military took over. 

Dad was always happy at his children's weddings. Ndi Igbo kwenu...

Trust dad to remain stylish in the 90's with his leather jacket.

My dad was posh like this. He always used a knife and fork to eat traditional Naija food. Plus his gadgets were always in sight. 

Friendly, social and a friend to everyone. Our beloved dad, granddad, uncle, inlaw and much more.

I sent this message to my dad on the 01 January 2016. I didnt realize that 12 months later, I would be speaking about him in the past. But such is life and death but thank God for good photo memories.

Some Family on my Dad's 70th Birthday

Writing this blog has been therapy for me. 

Thanks for being part of my blog journey this year and I look forward to sharing with you in 2017. 

Have a wonderful Christmas and beautiful New Year. 

IT'S GOOD TO TALK

It’s not always easy to talk with others about challenging issues especially if it involves being upfront, but it's good to talk and it improves relationships. 

The way we are brought up has a lot to do with ability to talk openly about issues but even if this wasn't the case for you, it can be improved immensely by deliberate effort. It's good to talk.

Barriers To Talking
Most of us our hesitant because:

We may be misunderstood

We may sound weak

We might not express ourselves clearly

We might be laughed at
We might get insulted

We might upset the person

We don’t know where to start

We don’t want to worry others

We don’t want to disturb the peace
They might not be interested
Its too complicated

The Benefits of Talking

1. Peace of Mind
2. Healthier Relationships
3. Stronger Confidence 
4.Victory Over Satan

What Happens when you don’t talk?

Resentment builds up

The more you keep away from discussing an issue, the more resentment builds up. Before you know it, you could end up disliking a person just because you haven’t discussed an issue.

Issues get swept under the carpet

Anything that is not discussed will slowly become an issue because sooner or later someone will explode. Deal with an issue straight away to avoid this.

Sickness

This may sound far fetched but not speaking about issues may trigger mental illness and sickness. Ask any psychiatrist. 

If relationships and friendships are important to you then you must find ways to talk about all sorts of issues, even the challenging ones

• ·        Be Open - That means saying exactly what you mean in a diplomatic way.
• ·        Be Honest - You can discuss matters openly without hurting others. You should be honest.
• ·        Listen - A talk is a chance to listen to another person's point of view. It's not a one way conversation.
• ·        Show you care - Dont be a bully or controlling when talking to others about challenging issues because it so easy for others to get defensive and you wont achieve your goal. Always be diplomatic. 

That it's from me. How about you? Do you find it easy to talk about challenging issues? Can you provide any useful tips? Would love to hear from you in the comment box. If you found this article useful, then please share with others. 

ELEVEN LIFE LESSONS FROM RIRI

I cant believe December is here already. To date 2016 has been one of those years of highs and lows for me.  I started this blog about 6 months ago and I thank God that my gift of communication is something of value and I am able to express myself in a light hearted way and that someone out there is inspired by my writings. Here's a list of 11 life lessons that have affected me in the last 11 months and I hope that someone will be inspired.

BE GRATEFUL FOR LIFE

Life Is Short: This time last week I was rushed to hospital. I was struggling to breath again. I say again because unfortunately my asthma is heightened at this time of year and I am sometimes crippled with allergies and asthma. I realise more than ever that I have to take my preventative medicines at all times. Unfortunately, on that fateful Friday while I was struggling to breath and finally recovered, someone else took their last final breath. Remember life is short. 

Count Your Blessings: Which brings me to my second point which is count your blessings. If you don’t need an inhaler, you are blessed. If you have the money to buy an inhaler like me, you are blessed.  Whichever way you look at it, as long as you are alive and breathing properly, you are blessed.

Be Grateful: Don’t wait for complications to strike before you begin to feel grateful. Every day that you wake up, be grateful. Write down a grateful log.

Don’t Dull Your Shine: You are a gift to the world and whatever you have, can inspire people so please don’t dull it. If you are a writer, write. If you are a singer, sing. If you are comforter, comfort people. Just ask God to put the right people your way and remove the ones that don’t need or appreciate your gift.

DONT DULL YOUR SHINE

Don’t Apologize For Being You: Never ever do this. Don’t go into hiding. Don’t question yourself or your abilities or your uniqueness. Not everyone can handle you because not everyone is comfortable with who they are.

Live An Uncomplicated Life: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t enlarge the big stuff. Find uncomplicated people to hang around because life is already complicated enough. Hang around toddlers. They are uncomplicated.

DONT COMPLICATE YOUR LIFE

Ignore Toxic Behaviour: These days I simply ignore it unless of course it’s my own children or those very close to me then I can pull them up on it but otherwise I ignore.

Don’t Copy Toxic Behaviour:  Dont copy toxic behaviour hoping to keep scores. There's a lot that we dont see and you dont really know what is going on in another person life, despite what you see on social media. Just pray for others. 

Be Confident:  You have to be confident in who God made you to be.  Having confidence is like a muscle that needs to be worked on. You have  stand up for what you believe in. You have to walk in your values. You cannot be blown by everything you see. You have to be a thinker. You have to ask questions. You have to know that you know that you know who you are and who's you are.

BE CONFIDENT 

Enjoy The Now: Because now is all you have. Nobody knows tomorrow. Nobody knows where they will be but God. 

Live to Please God: So that even your enemies will be at peace with you. Live in love, have a generous heart. Always seek to do God's will. Do not lie, cheat or steal or be proud. Treat other's how you would like to be treated. 

So that's my 11 lessons so far. I am sure I will have one final lesson by the end of month 12. Which of these 11 lessons resonates with you and do you have any more to share? Please respond in the comment box and feel free to share with others. 

Happy New Month