Friday 23 September 2016

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR LIKEABILITY FACTOR

I don’t know anyone in this world who doesn’t like to be liked. No matter how much we might pretend that we don’t care, I believe that everyone would prefer to be liked than disliked. Most of the time we moan that people don’t like us. The truth is even for those people who say they dislike you, there is probably something that they secretly admire.  This article is for anyone who like me wants to be liked more than despised because quite frankly being liked is good business. People do business with people they like. So here are some points to get us on the road to being liked more.


Be Generally Interested In Other People

People want to know that you care. So if you strike up a conversation and all you do is talk about yourself, it will imply that you are not interested in others. How many times do you call people just to say hello?  We need reach out to people more. Visit, phone or send an email. I actually did this recently. I was thinking about someone the other day and rather than just stop at thinking about her, I actually sent her an inbox to say hello. She was so happy and shocked that I reached out to her. We are lucky with technology especially with facebook which sends you reminders of Birthdays. Rather just type HBD which I think is very impersonal why not write a really nice birthday line or pick up the phone. With clients why not find out more about them in discussions so that when it’s there special day, you can send a birthday or anniversary note. They will really appreciate it. Trust me. 



Smile More

Smiling is good business and I can tell you from personal experience that smiling got my foot in to jobs that seemed unreachable.  It sends a signal to my clients that I am a warm person. Smile at people genuinely and look at them directly.  A lovely smile will warm anybody’s heart. A lot of us have developed the habit of frowning or having a straight face. Maybe we have taken on too much of the world’s problems but a lovely smile is so heart-warming. Make it a habit to smile more. It really does help with making people like you more.

Say My Name

Everyone loves being called by their name. Everyone loves it when you remember them. When you call me by name, you are setting me apart from others. It shows that you care about me and I will like you more.  Try it with your clients and customers and see how easier it is to have a conversation. Never address clients with first names though unless they insist.



Be An Active Listener

I learned this very early in my career that if I am going to get clients and customers to hear what I have to say I need to listen to them and the same should be applied with friends.   Sometimes you meet people that are quite chatty and they have said so much about themselves in the first 10 minutes but they haven’t asked you anything about you. Not listening causes a lot of problems in relationships. I remember attending an interactive marriage course organised by Alpha and each couple took turns in listening by holding a handkerchief. You couldn’t interrupt the other person until they had finished speaking.  It was really useful and interesting to see how difficult it is to listen. A good way to show that you are listening is to give eye contact, nod in agreement or repeat back what the person said to you.



Talk About The Other Person’s Interests

People love to talk about themselves and that is the honest truth. Just ask a person about something they are really passionate about it will be difficult to end that conversation. Being interested in others really builds up the likeability factor not just for clients but for friends.   



Make Other People Feel Important

William James said, ‘’The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated’’. A lot of the times friendships break up because one of the other party feels neglected or less important. You often hear complaints like, ‘’She ignores me’’, ‘’ He doesn’t talk to me any more’’ and so on. I have come to realise that no matter how much we may pretend; we all want to feel important. It’s part of our need as humans.  The challenge is always to be genuine and to make the person feel important not because you want to get out anything out of them but simply because they are human.
So there you have it. If you want to develop yourself more in the likeability factor then recommended books are
How To Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie
25 Ways To Win With People – John Maxwell
Be a People Person – John Maxwell
Becoming a Person of Influence – Maxwell & Dornan

Thanks for stopping by and please share your thoughts in the comment box. I love receiving feedback. If you found this article useful please share with others.

Happy Weekend.

N/B Most of the photos are from our popular interactive High Impact Business Growth workshops. Watch out for a special edition coming up on 21st October.  Save the date.  For information send to rita@majesticallyrare.com



9 comments:

  1. Thanks for this wonderful posts. Reaching out the world for peaceful coexistence. God bless you.

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  2. Thank you Amaka. I try my best. I appreciate your feedback. God bless you too.

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  3. Nicely put RiRi... I agree. Unfortunately I'm so guilty of not remembering names. Perhaps you could let us have some tips on doing that especially if one meets many people at the same time.

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    1. Yinka thanks for your coment. I repeat the name back to the person and try and associate it with something or someone and I write it down. It's not easy but practice makes perfect. Sometimes if I struggle with long version of a name, I will ask if there is a shorter version of the name.

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    2. Also once a person has told me there name, once in conversation I try and repeat it back to them like this, ''Oh Yinka, that's interesting tell me more.''

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  4. Thanks for this Riri. I currentlt practise most of this but I see i have to work on listening more. Cos i do tend to go on and on about myself- oops!
    Great article. And that Dale Carnegie's book is the bomb! Pls keep them coming.

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    1. Thanks for your comment Brenda. Everyone gets carried away sometimes. Just be mindful and remember this article when you find it happening. Good Luck.

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  5. Thank you so much Rita. Have been practicing the listening skill which has not been easy but has improved.

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    1. Great to hear that Chidinma. Just be self aware with regards to listening.

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