Are you in a one sided friendship? Most one sided friendships dont start off that way but somewhere along the way the relationship can become unbalanced. Many good hearted people find themselves in such friendships
because of their giving nature but there comes a time when one has to take
stock and realise that being in a one sided friendship is unhealthy.
Ive been in such a relationship before and it drains
you. It also make you question yourself and lowers your self-esteem. But don’t despair. You can take your control
back but before you do so, do an inventory to really see if the friendship is one
sided or whether you are just imagining things.
Here are SIX
clear signs that you are in a one sided friendship.
1. They
don’t notice any important events in your life and even if they do, you will be
sure they wont celebrate with you. On the other hand you are always the one
reaching out to celebrate with them no matter how big or small the occasion is.
2. They
take advantage of your generosity and any time you reach out to them just for a
friendly chat, there’s always one favour they need you to do for them.
3. You
can be sure that when they call you it’s never to find out how you are doing,
rather it’s to ask for one thing or the other
4. You
question the friendship often
5. They
don’t care. Their actions speak loud. Face the facts. There’s no point being around people that
only see you as an option rather than a priority when there are an army of people
who know the value of good friendship.
6. When
you do make up your mind to walk away from such friendships you may start to question
yourself or even feel guilty but don't. Just keep walking. Your mental health is worth far more...
But here are some questions to
ponder on
Do you always have to be the caretaker?
Do you feel guilty when you discover that you, too, have
needs that should be recognized and met? Why would that be?
Do your needs feel less important?
Do you feel less important or deserving of consideration
and understanding?
A good friendship means that there's give and take. How do you know that you are not being paranoid? My answer to that is it if doesnt feel right, it isnt right.
Never blame the one sided person. You have to take 100% responsibility for your life Nobody
can have a one-sided friendship with you, without your consent. Take control and seek
better relationships where there is balance.
These are some of our fundamental emotional needs:
To be acknowledged
To be accepted
To be listened to
To be understood
To be loved
To be appreciated
To be respected
To be safe
To be valued
To be worthy
To be trusted
To feel capable and competent
To feel clear (instead of confused)
To be supported
If you are not getting these from a friendship, then you should ask yourself why you are there?
These are some of our fundamental emotional needs:
To be acknowledged
To be accepted
To be listened to
To be understood
To be loved
To be appreciated
To be respected
To be safe
To be valued
To be worthy
To be trusted
To feel capable and competent
To feel clear (instead of confused)
To be supported
If you are not getting these from a friendship, then you should ask yourself why you are there?
So that’s it from me. Have you
experienced a one side friendship? How did you deal with it? Please reply in
the comment box.
Thanks for stopping by.
This a real eyeopener for me. It would seem that most of my relationships are one sided. I'll definitely take the highway and would rather be by myself than be used. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI am glad its an eye opener Idu. Its good to be a giving person and its ok to give but not all the time. Friendships should be balanced. They should be reciprocal.
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