NEVER DIM YOUR LIGHT

Susan was the brightest girl in school. She always won all the awards on  prizegiving day. Not only was she academically bright but  she also had a gift for music. She had a rival called Agnes who wasnt happy about Susan's constant winning of awards. Agnes started to bully her. 

When someone believes that your presence diminishes their light, you may encounter negative emotions from that person including envy, indifference and sometimes bullying.  Anytime someone puts you down, whether upfront or through sarcasm, it’s coming from somewhere. It’s a defense mechanism of how their deal with their insecurity.

INSECURITY

Susan became inadequate and stopped working hard at school because the effect of bullying was taking its toll. Agnes was very happy that Susan was ''shrinking'' and so were many other girls in the class. If you are dealing with a person that has to be the shiniest object in the world, the only person that can be gifted, the only person who can have talents, the only person who can give value to the world, you are dealing with a person who doesn’t believe that the sky is really big enough for ALL of us.

YOUR GIFTS WILL MAKE ROOM FOR YOU

Eventually Susan's mum noticed her fall in grades and had a mother and daughter chat with her. She said, ''There is plenty of space on the planet for everyone’s light to shine. But unfortunately some people don’t understand this and will respond negatively to you, simply because you are showing your light. They cant take it because they think your light takes away from theirs. Just because you are giving your all: Your light, your loving spirit, your confidence, and your energy, it is an irritant to some people and any attempt to spread your light in their space is received with utter disgust''. 

Some of us react wrongly to this behaviour  like Susan did and end up dimming our light just because we do not want to offend or we try to be nicer to the bully hoping that they will like us. But that’s wrong thinking.

THINK ABOUT A CHRISTMAS TREE

Susan listened to her mother and her grades went back to being first class. Agnes just had to deal with it and when she realized that Susan was no longer affected by her bullying, she left her alone. In fact the school were told about the incident and all the girls were given a lecture on Bullying and on Building Confidence.

Lets look at this analogy. All the lights on a Christmas look beautiful, dont they? They ALL give the Christmas tree that extra sparkle because they are ALL shining. Imagine if you took most of the lights off the Christmas! Imagine how bare the Christmas tree would be! That’s how we should view everyone’s light. We can all be a LIGHT to the world. It’s a better way to live and view the light of others.

That’s my view. What do you think? Do you agree or do you have a different perspective? Please leave a comment. Thanks for stopping by and never stop shining your light.

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FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE

About Author

RiRi is a dedicated Events planner, personal development trainer and speaker who is passionate about serving clients at Majestically Rare to the highest standards. Only the best will do. She is also the founder of Raising Confident Girls Initiative with a clear vision: A world where every girl is confident. 

FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE

I am coming down from our first Raising Confidence Girls (RCG) conference and I’m reflecting. When this movement started in 2014 my confidence was shaken. I was broken-hearted from certain things that were going on in my life. 
I was getting attacks left, right and everywhere. 

WHAT CHANGED?

My  daughter was 14 at the time and I thought if I am not confident, how the heck am I going to raise a confident girl?

So on September 15, 2014, I decided to form a group called ‘’Raising Confident Girls’’ which has now evolved into the NGO and today; and is phenomenal.

WHAT LESSONS CAN WE LEARN FROM MY EXPERIENCE?

We can ask God to use our pain for purpose. I prayed to God and asked him 
1. To deliver me from that pain

2. To turn my pain into glory.

4. To turn my pain into something positive.

4. And HE did.

And now 4 years later I am back to being my confident self. I have my ups and downs like everyone else but I am definitely not where I use to be in 2014

WHAT CHANGED?

You have to know your value. 
You have to know who’s you are. 
Confidence has to come from within.
You stand up for yourself even if it means standing alone.

WHAT CONFIDENCE IS NOT

Certificates are great BUT they dont complete you

It’s not about the accolades.

It’s not about what you do or titles.

It’s not about the bags or hair that you rock.

Its not based on your looks or how slim your waist is.

Or the area of town that you live in.

Your real confidence is your inner value and believing in yourself even when others don’t.

WHAT INNER CONFIDENCE IS 

I have come to realize that there is a clear difference between inner confidence and outer confidence. Inner confidence does not grow from material wealth, corporate success or our ability to speak in public. Otherwise there wouldnt be so many successful people seeking therapy. Its not nurtured by who ''sees'' us or the image we have built around ourselves. It can only come from deep inside of you; and how deeply you know, believe and accept yourself, what you are willing to accept from others (or not) and your ability to stay strong in your unshakable truth. That's inner confidence.

In addition you have to believe that you are a UNIQUE, INCREDIBLE, HUMAN BEING just like everyone else

And that you can gain access to anything to desire and then work your damn hardest on your gifts to offer value to the world. So I now stand in 2018 to say yes I am confident because I believe in my value.

If you want to watch FULL STORY click the link button here.

Thanks for stopping by and please share to anyone who will benefit from my nuggets. 

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MUMS & DAUGHTERS GROW TOGETHER

About author

RiRi is a dedicated Events & Marketing Experts/ trainer who is passionate about serving clients at Majestically Rare to the highest standards. Only the best will do. She is also the founder of Raising Confident Girls Initiative with a clear vision: A world where every girl is confident. 

MUMS & DAUGHTERS GROW TOGETHER

On Saturday 7 April all roads led to the very first Mums and Daughters Conference powered by Raising Confident Girls Initiative. The theme was ''We Grow Together''. The day started with a red carpet experience compered by Linda Orajekwe who interviewed mums and daughters as they arrived. The first 30 families to arrive received a book gift titled ''The Courageous Girl’’ by Mofoluwaso Ilevbare.

Next, our delightful MC, Mrs Regina Ogbodo asked everyone to get to know each other. The welcome address was shared by the founder Mrs RiRi Okoye who also shared the vision: A world where every girl is confident and the mission: to provide support and useful information to help raise confident girls in our communities.

Regina Uren Chris Ogbodo - MC of the Day

RiRi Okoye - Founder

The first speaker was Taiye Aluko who spoke openly about building strong relationships with girls. She said mums should avoid comparing siblings because that causes lack of confidence. Her mum often compared her with her extroverted twin. Mums are wiser than their daughters but girls are smarter. In order to build strong relationships in our daughters, mums have to be strong which takes a journey of self discovery and transformation.

Taiye Aluko - Speaker

Yinka Enahoro was the next speaker and talked passionately about Love Languages. She gave a descriptive summary of all the love languages. She informed the audience that she had taken the love language exercise with both her children and it helps them relate better with each other. 

Yinka Enahoro - Speaker

She also said that because her daughter knows her love language which is Affirmation, she actually goes out of her way to affirm her mum. Yinka does the same with her daughter who's love language is Acts of service. She also said that love languages can change depending what stage your daughter is at in life.

See link to  5 LOVE LANGUAGES

Audrey Abayomi was our final speaker. She shared in detail about Societal Pressures and how to avoid them. As a psychologist, she was able to break it down and communicate hard facts about the impact not just for girls but mothers too. Mums have to figure out a way to love ourselves first. We have to be confident in who we are and not follow fads because our girls are watching and will copy us and peer pressure cycle continues. She shared an interesting story of sushi. Audrey said she has never eaten sushi but she just doesn’t like it. Raw fish is distasteful to her. Maybe if she tastes it she might like it. But right now she doesnt like or want sushi.

Audrey Abayomi

This is how our girls can relate it to someone who doesn’t like them. It’s because just like sushi they have never tasted our girls. They dont know our girls intimately. So girls should be worried if some does like them. They are just sushified and the audience roared with laughter.

The next session was Question and Answers led by Regina our brilliant MC. The audience found this session really insightful and an eye opener and it was reflected on the feedback forms. The audience were able to really open up to our guest speakers and ask some pressing questions. 

One particular young girl wanted to know why her mum always says. ‘Are you Okay, Are you Okay’’ in the Nigerian context as if the daughter is stupid. The mothers were told that this kind of questioning can have long term effects on a girls confidence. RiRi Okoye also mentioned in the Q&A session that an extrovert is not necessarily confident and an introvert is not less confident either. They are just a girls personality trait.A lot of time was spent really tackling questions and these will be shared on our platform in due course..

We were really looking forward to watching Ladi’s LIVE feed but unfortunately due to some unforseen technical issues, it didn’t take place. Ladi will share her points on Raising Confident Girls private group at a later date, about a lovely outing she had with two confident 17 year old girls.

Ladi Di with two confident girls 

After the Q&A sessions, mums and daughters had fun with Ifeoma Agbasi who delivered a session on ‘’How well do you know you mum and how well do you know your daughter?’’. Some mothers were quite surprised at how little their daughters knew them and vice versa.

Ifeoma Agbasi hosted the games

Damie Onasanya and Ini Obinna- Onunkwo led the Fashion and Dance off show and there were plenty of prizes to give away from sponsors such as from Hugs & Stitches, Design Essentials, Lillian Collins Spa, Zaron Cosmetics and N Lounge & Spa. The event ended with a vote of thanks, cutting of cake and dance dance dance.

Ini and Damie hosted the Fashion show

Some Feedback from attendees

It was a very interesting programme and time for bonding betweem me and my 3 daughters.

A great first outing! Nice venue, amazing resources persons and invaluable lessons

This was a well thought out event. The topics were relevant.

The event was impactful and discussions were on point. The key speakers were knowledgeable about their subject matter. Good publicity and organisation.

The Question and Answer session was quite an eye opener. The talks were also educative.

The event was very eye opening and inspiring 

Special thanks to everyone including:

Sponsors

Teeky Arena, Hugs & Stitches, Little Weavers, Majestically Rare Events
Design Essentials, HTT Communications, Suave Events, N Lounge & Spa
Zaron Cosmetics, Lilian Collins Spa

Media Sponsors: Connect Nigeria, Bella Naija, The Guardian

Comperes: Regina Ogbodo, Linda Orajekwe

Speakers: Taiye Aluko, Yinka Enahoro, Audrey Abayomi

Universal Volunteers - Ushers

And to all our Mums and daughters that showed up on the day. We really enjoyed your presence

Read here about us  RAISING CONFIDENT GIRLS

On behalf of RCG Committee thank you very much with love always RiRi, Ladi, Damie,Yinka, Ifeoma, Ini, Taiye and Bonita - RCG Conference Committee